[Pinky Ghelani’s Blog Posts at Babylove Network, during her last (past) pregnancy – 2014).
If anyone tells me one more time that I ‘have added” (read: weight) then I will totally scream.
I know I am carrying a baby. I know pregnancy weight gain by week. I know that the belly will grow. I know that the extra fluids in my body and my growing appetite will make me look fuller, but you commenting on my weight (especially if you are a man), is a huge no no!
Ladies, how many of us have gone through this? I heard a comment from someone who said to me ‘I saw your picture in May and I thought to myself, oh goodness, is that a bump or has Pinky just put on weight..?’ In May I was barely 3 weeks pregnant so trust me, I was not supposed to be showing and to be honest, in May, I was at my ideal model weight, so there is no way I looked ‘fat’. This comment was from a man and when he said it, I had smoke coming out of my ears. I mean, really?!
The other comment I heard was from a lady who told me that my face is chubby. Chubby is what you call a round baby – not a mother to be. Let’s cut to the chase here( all profanities withheld)….. A pregnant woman is going through plenty. From body changes, to smelling surrounding smells that are not always appealing. From hormonal changes that make us cry at silly pet adverts, to screaming at our husbands for just breathing the wrong way. From big boobs to a tummy that looks like we just swallowed a watermelon. Don’t even get me started on the hemorrhoids and the pelvic pain that make us walk that way. The point is… it is hard. From the minute our body begins to react to the pregnancy to the time we fit back into our skinny jeans, life is hard – and it is harder on our egos!
This is for you – those of you who think that pregnant women want to hear what you think we look like. You who randomly mouth out your thoughts to us – you know who you are. You who just roll your eyes and without thinking blurt out inappropriate comments. Those comments bruise the ego – most times. I remember in my last pregnancy a lady who is a relative said ‘you are as big as I am now’. The chick is a size 16(or more) and in my pregnancies I have seen the most I go up is 2 sizes. I am normally a size 8 – so if anything I go up to a 12. Some people just say things for the sake of saying things. I have learnt to take it in my stride. I put comments down to the person who is dishing them out and I filter a lot!
While pregnant not only does a woman enjoy a foot massage, but an ego massage can go a long way. We want validation, we want to feel that we are looking good so that we can focus, even if it is for all of 5 seconds, on something other than heartburn or the elastic just popping on the maternity trousers. When people say ‘you are glowing’ it makes us feel sensual, womanly and beautiful. The fact is, we don’t always feel so great, so hearing that we look good (even if we have a bit of vomit running down our chin) helps! It can really make our day!
So you, the person who is about to comment that my nose looks bigger than it should or that my feet have grown longer or that I look ‘big’ – bite your tongue. I see myself in the mirror every day. I am not in denial that maybe I am not looking myself, but I know that I have life growing within me and I know the hardship I go through on a daily basis to make sure that this baby is born whole and healthy – even if that means chowing down two burgers for lunch because that is exactly what hits the spot. So to you, that person who looks at me with your judging eye and are about to say something that makes you look like you have lard for a brain – don’t say it. The thing is – at the moment, I have something super special – the super power to grow a human being in my belly and feel the little being kick and move about and know that this is a short sacrifice that I have to make for a lifetime of happiness.
It really is mind over matter.